Hello dear and loyal readers! We had so much material left over from our review of book 4 that we've decided to share some of it with you. You know, for luck.
LISA FRANK AHOY!
Ifi: MAKE IT STOP
Adam: MY POOR EYES
Ifi: JESUS MARY AND JOSEPH PUT THAT POOR THING OUT OF ITS MISERY
Adam: Wait, I have an artbook by Wayne Barlowe that has a picture of a woman turning into a dolphin that it sort of reminds me of
Adam: Only, it's Wayne Barlowe, so it is neat looking, rather then something that could make you soil your pants in terror
Ifi: No. Women are nice. Dolphins are nice. Dolphin-women sound sexy. That thing is a terror.
Ifi: Did you see the Book 2 cover? I included it in the review.
Adam: It's…staring at me
Adam: I went to a new page, but I can still feel it staring at me
Ifi: It's like that one creepy image you can see on banner ads, with the dog-woman, and you're supposed to tell if it's real or not.
Ifi: And it's obviously not but there's still something...
Adam: ah, here it is
Ifi: Yes. See? Was that so hard?
Ifi: It's weird, but I don't feel like it's pleading with me to end its miserable life
Adam: And most things do?
Ifi: THESE COVERS DO
Adam: …fair enough
[the next day]
Ifi: I FUCKING LOVE DOLPHINS
Adam: Dolphins are the bastards of the animal kingdom
Ifi: I KNOW BUT I READ THIS BOOK WHEN I WAS IN MY DOLPHINS PHASE
Ifi: I KNOW NOW THAT THEY ARE EVIL RAPISTS WHO KILL FOR FUN BUT THEY ARE STILL AWESOME
Adam: I prefer sharks
Adam: They are cuter
Ifi: This is my favorite book.
Ifi: This is the best Animorphs book
Adam: Which one?
Ifi: The one we are reading now
Ifi: With dolphins
Ifi: Fucking flawless masterpiece of high art
Adam: Ah, it isn't my favorite, but it is the first one where I actually like the cover, and it introduces Ax, who is the best character
Ifi: This is the first one I ever read so
Adam: Ohh, I see
Ifi: The cover is pretty great too
Ifi: I'm gonna try to find the internal illustration too
Adam: Cassie isn't just aimlessly floating in space, either
Ifi: Yeah, it works
Adam: The internal illustration is a bit generic though
Adam: She's near a coral reef
|Ganked from Seeropedia|
Ifi: Yeah I remember. It was the ultimate appeal to nine year old girls
Ifi: It was straight out of Lisa Frank
Ifi: That was totally deliberate
Adam: I took a class on aesthetics last year
Adam: And I had to give a speech on the concept of kitsch
Adam: And I just ended up talking about Lisa Frank the whole time
Ifi: Purple dogs and horses with giant eyes
Ifi: Rainbow vomit
|WILL SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN TO ME WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE.|
Adam: Not unlikely
[after the review is written]
Adam: I think I may draw Jesus Whale before the Visser's morph
Adam: Hmm, should I draw him with a halo, or a crown of thorns?
Ifi: Try both I think
Ifi: Fuck yeah
Adam: Well, you have another image to put up with the text
Ifi: So going in the review
Ifi: Wait wait
Ifi: What the BALLS
Adam: I am gagging
Ifi: Read the hobbies.
Ifi: READ THE FUCKING LONG-TERM GOALS
Ifi: I DON'T
Ifi: I DON'T EVEN
Ifi: I am still looking at this dolphin thing
Ifi: How does a dolphin go to college
Ifi: She also wants to win a Nobel prize
Adam: Well, they are found in schools
Ifi: GO SIT IN THE CORNER AND THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU JUST DID.
Adam: I'ma go cry
Adam: You can't take my puns from me
Adam: They are part of who I am
Ifi: And they don't seem to be begging for the sweet release of death
Adam: Wait, who is doing the new covers, anyway?
Ifi: Some dude with photoshop
Ifi: You're the art guy, you find out
Ifi: I just do words
Ifi: I JUST DO THE WORDS
Ifi: DON'T GIVE ME THAT LOOK
Ifi: I'M THE ONE CLEANING UP ALL YOUR UNCAPITALIZED "I"sIfi: Hobbies: Racing, singing, storytelling, studying physics
Ifi: THIS WHALE IS SMARTER THAN WE ARE.
Furthermore, we are proud to announce our very first fanart! All thanks to the absolutely wonderful Trish, of Tricia's Obligatory Art Blog (which is an really great read, and you should most certainly check out.)
|Emohawk Got a Gun|
|Visser 3: Evil Overlord and Lover of Cats|