Saturday, October 29, 2011

Book 10: The Android

The Summary
Marco and Jake are running around like hooligans in dog morph one day for no good reason when they notice an ex-classmate named Erek King handing out fliers for The Sharing. That would usually be sad but typical, except there is something off about Erek. Because Marco is in the dog body, he can tell that Erek has no scent attached to him, which is impossible.

Nobody know what this means, so they decide to start following Erek around. He seems pretty typical until they see him get hit by a bus, fall to pieces, and then get back up again. So Erek is a robot. Or something. They follow him up to a really fun-sounding meeting of The Sharing, where Marco is forced to morph a wolf spider, since they are able to see all sorts of wavelengths and should probably be able to see through Erek's disguise.

Marco manages to catch a glimpse of Erek's true form, a bipedal canine robot. But Erek catches him and knows exactly who he is and what he and his friends have been doing. Luckily, Erek is a good guy. He and his robot friends are called the Chee, which were created by a race of now-extinct dog aliens called Pemalites. When the Pemalites were destroyed, they went to earth and bonded Pemalite DNA with wolves, creating the domestic dog. The Chee are really big on dogs.

Erek is annoyed that the Chee can't fight the Yeerks directly, due to the first law of robotics being firmly entrenched in their programming. But the Yeerks have gotten ahold of a crystal with the power to supposedly rewrite Chee programming. The Yeerks have no idea what the Chee are, they just want to use the crystal to take over all the computers in the world or something.

The Animorphs and Erek break into the very secure building where the crystal is being held, and manage to get to it without being caught. Only when they actually have it do the bad guys show up, some lady and a whole bunch of Hork-Bajiir. The Animorphs are horribly outnumbered in the fight that ensues. Just before he is killed, Marco gives the crystal to Erek.

When Marco wakes up, he is outside. Erek was able to restart his heart as well as replace Ax's arm and fix everyone else's really horrible injuries. Marco learns that Erek rewrote his programming and then slaughtered everyone in the building just after he passed out. Erek isn't taking this very well, and realizes that changing his code was probably not a good idea. He reverts it back to the way it was and swears to never kill anything again.

The Review

Adam: Marco, what is wrong with your faaaaaace?
Ifi: I actually didn't even notice that, I was more focused on the fact Marco appears to be lifting weights
Adam: How's a bro expected to remain popular with the ladies unless he stays in shape?
Adam: ^_~ 
Adam: …I apologize for that
Ifi: Uh huh.
Adam: Aside from that, it is hard to say exactly why I don't particularly like this cover. It has an invertebrate morph, which I generally like, and the color scheme is not too objectionable.
Adam: Yet it just seems off to me
Ifi: McDonalds color scheme.
Adam: Wow.
Adam: It's a bit more orangey, but you are pretty much right.
Ifi: Damn right I am

Ifi: As usual, we open up with somebody doing something they should not be doing
Ifi: All I can say is that this sort of relates to the plot, because they morph dogs
Adam: This is pretty much the "dogs are awesome and we should all love them" book.
Ifi: I mean dogs are nice but yeah it is a little over-the-top.
Ifi: Not really sure why. Dogs aren't endangered or anything.
Adam: This whole book is awkward for me, since I was utterly terrified of them when I was the age where I was originally collecting this series.
Ifi: Really? Any reason, or was it just an irrational fear?
Adam: When I was two, I was licked all over by this golden retriever in the park, which I apparently found completely traumatizing.
Ifi: I was actually also afraid of dogs when I was small. But that was because our neighbors had two completely psychotic dogs
Ifi: One day the dogs mauled their son
Adam: Yikes.
Ifi: and they got sent away
Ifi: to a nice farm
Ifi: where they could run and play all day

Ifi: So there is Erek
Ifi: Who I think was based on some kid who won a contest or something?
Adam: This is correct.
Adam: This was presumably really cool for the real Erek King for the first week or so, until he would eventually get teased horribly by his classmates.
Adam: Gosh I am cynical this week.
Ifi: And he also is hated by everyone born in the 90's for what he did in the last book.
Adam: Shhh

Ifi: Erek is suspect because he has no scent
Ifi: Which is unnerving to a dog.
Adam: Whatever deodorant he is using, he should start marketing it or something.
Ifi: Erek is also on The List because he was spotted handing out fliers for The Sharing
Adam: I would have assumed that he is using some sort of new Yeerk stealth technology, but I guess it doesn't occur to any of them.
Ifi: Well they decide to stalk the hell out of him
Adam: The Animorphs! Protectors of peoples' freedom and right to privacy!

I stared down at the paper. But I was seeing a funeral service. Singing. Flowers. Some priest talking about how great my mother had been. He hadn't even known my mother.
I remember turning around in my pew to look at the church.
[...]
Erek had been three rows back. He was wearing a suit that was probably scratchy and uncomfortable. But he didn't look solemn. He looked angry. And he was shaking his head slowly, barely, from side to side, as if he was unconsciously disagreeing with everything the priest said.

----Book Ten, The Android

Ifi: DUDE HE OBVIOUSLY KNOWS.
Ifi: HE KNOWSSSSSS
Adam: It sounds more like he has religious differences with the priest.
Ifi: -_-
Adam: Hey, people feel strongly about these things.
Ifi: These are not those kinds of books.

Ifi: Okay so they are stalking Erek and he gets hit by a bus but he just shrugs it off.
Adam: DunDunDunnnnnnnn
Adam: Clearly he is some sort of new Yeerk weapon, and they should rush in and try to destroy it!
Adam: They don't, but I was honestly half-expecting them to.

Adam: Now, one thing that bothers me about this book is that they continually refer to Erek as an android.
Adam: Erek is not an android.
Ifi: Haha you are right
Adam: An android is a robot built to resemble a human. Hence the "An".
Adam: You could call him a pemadroid, though that admittedly sounds a bit weird.
Ifi: At least it's bipedal
Ifi: points for that
Adam: Yeah, the whole holographic projection thing would have been a bit awkward had the Chee been unable to miraculously fit inside of a human silhouette.


Adam: You'd expect something to poke out, or something to bend different, or something.
Ifi: Luckily that is never an issue
Ifi: ever
Ifi: in sixty-plus books
Adam: I wonder how this series would have turned out if the Pemalites had looked more like the Andalites or something.
Adam: What's with all the aliens ending in "lite" anyway?
Ifi: A quadruped robot is highly impractical
Adam: says you


Adam: In anycase, more legs=more stability.
Adam: Ask Ax. I never understood how those humans were able to move around with only two limbs without falling over all the time anyway.

Ifi: They make Marco morph some horrible spider
Adam: Because they need something that has decent eyesight, but sees different wavelengths, in hope that it can see through Erek's holographic projector.
Adam: So apparently Taxxon eyes see pretty much exactly the same as human eyes do.
Ifi: It is a mystery.
Adam: Also:
Adam: GODDAMN IT MARCO, MORPH A MANTIS SHRIMP!
Ifi: You and your mantis shrimps
Adam: They have super-duper eyes.
Adam: And are just generally awesome.

"Ah. I am frightened, too. I don't really like morphing tiny animals. I keep thinking about all the rest of my mass.>
<Your what?> I asked, not really caring. I was focused on the morphing ahead.
<My mass. When you morph something smaller than yourself, your body mass must go somewhere. So it goes into Zero-space. Zero-space is the space that ships travel through when they are going faster than light. It's not very likely to happen, but sometimes a ship traveling in Z-space will intersect with a temporarily parked mass.>
This got my total, complete attention.
<Wait a minute. Are you telling me that when we get small, all the leftover…stuff…all the extra flesh and guts and bones go bulging into Zero-space like some big balloon of human tissue?>
<Of course. Where did you think all the mass went?>

----Book Ten, The Android

Adam: This proceeds to give Marco nightmares for weeks.
Ifi: And it raises the question of where the extra mass comes from when they morph something large
Ifi: I was actually never able to read any of the books after this without thinking about a spaceship burning up their mass
Ifi: During all the missions
Ifi: It never left my head
Adam: We'll get to that plot in another 8 books.

Ifi: The Sharing is having a big evil meeting with water skiing and barbeque
Adam: The Yeerks seriously have the best evil meetings ever.
Adam: Say what you will about Visser Three. The guy clearly knows how to have a good time.
Ifi: Clearly.

Adam: So they morph the spiders.
Adam: And Marco has an…odd moment.

I was death on eight legs.
It was a beetle. That's what I was chasing. A big old beetle, much larger than I was. Larger and slower. He grew in my distorted field of vision. He grew and grew and I powered on.
I wish I could explain why I kept on with the hunt. Sometimes the animal brain takes over for a while and sort of overwhelms the human mind. But that's not what was happening to me. I wasn't overwhelmed. I was just into it.
A last burst of speed! My front legs touched the beetle. He dodged left, but too slow. I clambered right up on his back.
I positioned my jaws with their deadly fangs, and—
<Marco? What are you doing?>

----Book Ten, The Android

Ifi: Yeah that was odd
Ifi: Marco has RAGEEEE
Ifi: HIS MOTHER IS NOT ACTUALLY DEEEEAAADDDDD
Adam: AND THAT BEETLE IS RESPONSIBLE!


Ifi: EAT IT AND GAIN ITS KNOWLEDGE AND MAGIC


Ifi: Marco morphs the spider and finds Erek

It looked like a bare human foot. Except that I could see through the skin. Through the toenails. With my eight strange, distorted spider eyes I could see right through the electronic haze of the hologram. I could see what was beneath the hologram.
I saw what looked like interlocking plates of steel and ivory. The "foot" had no toes. In fact, it wasn't shaped like a human foot. More like a paw.
It was not human. And everything in my tingling, buzzing, hyper, spider's senses told me it was not alive.

----Book Ten, The Android

Ifi: tl;dr just look at the picture
Adam: So we're ten books in, and we finally have a robot.
Adam: A furry robot.
Ifi: So yeah. We have that.
Adam: Yeah, I dunno.

Adam: So, just after finding Erek, Marco is attacked by a bird.
Ifi: And he yells "AAAH!" but he broadcasts it like he's Visser freaking Three so the whole damn camp hears.
Adam: Except that no one reacts at all.
Adam: Um...
Ifi: idklol

Ifi: Marco goes on a spirit quest and sees Visser Mom
Adam: Something Freudian there, surely.
Ifi: Erek and his lady friend stumble upon him

"His name is Marco," Erek said calmly. "You know the "Andalite bandits" Chapman is always talking about? The ones who use Andalite morph technology to carry on a guerrilla war?"
"Of course," she said.
Erek pointed down at me. "I think this human is one of them."

----Book Ten, The Android

Ifi: WELL FOLKS IT'S BEEN FUN
Adam: And so, the war was lost. All of the Animorphs were soon captured, and the Earth was swiftly conquered afterwards.
Adam: The end!
Adam: I just want to thank everyone for supporting this project.
Adam: Hmm, I wonder what books we should review next?
Ifi: Oh! That Jersey Shore book.
Ifi: Then the book that Paris Hilton wrote
Ifi: And then Modelland.
Ifi: And then the entire gossip girl series
Adam: Clearly a sane choice of literature.
Someone explain to me why this is a thing.

Ifi: jklolz. Erek is a good guy!

Ifi: Marco goes home and eats chicken and mashed potatoes.
Ifi: No really
Ifi: that's what happens.
Adam: Well, you can't sit through a huge plot revelation on an empty stomach.

Ifi: Oh and there is some plot with the Yeerks trying to get Marco's dad because they need his brain.
Adam: Like many things, this never really goes anywhere.
Ifi: Yeah Eva managed to warn him to not join the Yeerks' project so he doesn't and so yeah that's it
Adam: Also, Marco learns that his dad only became truly happy with his marriage after Eva had been taken by the Yeerks.
Ifi: Awesome.
Adam: WHICH IS THE MOST COMPLETELY MESSED UP THING I HAVE EVER HEARD.

"The last year, year and a half before…you know. Before. It was like this perfect time for us." He smiled at some picture only he could see. "We used to fight every now and then when you were younger, like most couples. But then it was as if all our problems were gone, settled. Maybe I had changed. Maybe she had. I don't know."
I felt cold fingers around my heart.
"It was the best time of my life," he said. "It was like we'd achieved some level of perfect peace and perfect love. But at the same time, there were these times when your mom would seem upset. Like she was struggling with some problem she wouldn't tell me about."

----Book Ten, The Android

Ifi: Apparently Edriss makes a great housewife.
Ifi: (This is later confirmed)
Adam: Honestly, this is the moment in the series which traumatized me the most upon rereading the series.
Ifi: Really?
Adam: Well, so far.

Ifi: Erek needs to explain the plot
Adam: So they just go right over to his house.
Adam: All at once.
Adam: With practically no attempt at security.
Ifi: It's okay the Chee won't hurt people if their lives depend on it. Literally.
Adam: So, as it turns out the Chee were built eons ago by a race of primordial jesus dog aliens.
Adam: To those who have not read the series before, yes, this is an actual plot element.
Ifi: And it's important and comes up again
Ifi: The thing is, the Chee are really awesome
Ifi: Except when they are being useless and infuriating
Adam: Oh paradoxes.

Ifi: And so the Animorphs get their first proper allies!
Adam: Hurray! Now they can go out for longer periods of time without worrying about being grounded!
Adam: Also, this is the first we hear of the Howlers.
Adam: Who were honestly a favorite of mine in this series.
Ifi: So there is lots of backstory
Ifi: Like a lot
Ifi: The Pemalites were awesome, the Howlers killed them for the lulz, the Chee have angsted ever since
Ifi: Also they domesticated wolves
Adam: by sticking the Pelalites souls into them.
Adam: Um, okay.
Ifi: SCIENCE!
Adam: Ghost science!
Ifi: Also they built pyramids and other stuff
Adam: Wait, I actually now want to read a series about ghost science.
Ifi: What would that even be?

Ifi: Okay so there is a crystal thing that can rewrite the Chee's programing and turn them into warriors so they can kick the Yeerks' asses
Ifi: All the other Chee are like "No way"
Ifi: But Erek is like "LETS DO IT"

<How did you convince the Yeerks that you are one of them?> Ax asked him.
Erek turned off his hologram and became a machine once again. And then the front of his head split open. Inside his steel and ivory head was a chamber, just a few inches in diameter.
And inside that chamber was a gray slug, helpless, unable to escape. Tiny wires, no
thicker than hairs, wrapped around it.
<Yeerk!> Ax hissed.
"Yes," Erek said. "The Yeerks believe I am human. I accepted infestation. But of course the Yeerk cannot make a Controller of me. I made a place for him instead. He sees nothing. Knows nothing. I tapped his memory, not the other way around. And now I can pass among the Yeerks like one of them."

----Book Ten, The Android

Ifi: Erek
Ifi: You are kind of scary
Adam: Um, so the Chee are incapable of harming anyone due to their programming.
Adam: Not to say that they can't imprison someone for an indeterminate amount of time, not let them know what is going on, and constantly mind-rape them.
Adam: Oh well.

Ifi: So there is the crystal. The Yeerks are going to use it to make Skynet or something
Adam: So the Animorphs need to go all Mission Impossible to go get it.
Ifi: Yeah it is very dramatic and complicated
Adam: It is a whole room in complete darkness, where the floors, walls and ceiling are covered with sensors, and the whole area is laced with tripwires.
Adam: And yet there is not any sort of alarm that will actually go off if the crystal is taken off its stand.
Adam: I'm sorry, but what?
Ifi: Yeah did you not see Indiana Jones?
Adam: Seriously Yeerks, that's the very first alarm you should be setting up!

Ifi: Eventually they get the crystal. It takes literally forever.
Adam: And then
Adam: They hadn't thought at all how to carry it back outside.
Adam: ...
Ifi: This sort of thing actually happens a lot
Adam: Sadly you are right.
Ifi: Then there are Hork-Bajir and guns and knives and it looks bad.
Adam: Marco gets disemboweled
Adam: again.
Ifi: This sort of thing actually happens a lot
Adam: We should start counting it, seriously.
Ifi: Just as Marco is about to die, he gets the crystal to Erek
Ifi: Sadly, he doesn't get to see what happens next

"He took care of the Hork-Bajir," Rachel said. "I saw some of it. I was still conscious."
I was confused. "How did Erek take care of the Hork-Bajir?"
<He destroyed them all.> Ax said.
I almost laughed. "Erek took out two dozen Hork-Bajir?"
No one laughed with me. Erek had stopped sobbing. I thought, Why would a robot cry?
<All the Hork-Bajir.> Ax said. <All the human-Controllers. All of them.>
I stood up. I could see the Matcom building. It was only a few hundred yards away. There was a big hole in the front glass.
I had a very bad feeling about what was on the other side of that glass.
All I could think of to say was, "All of them?"
"It lasted about ten seconds," Rachel said. She closed her eyes, trying not to remember what she had seen.

----Book Ten, The Android

Ifi: It turns out that the reason the Chee have to be pacifists is that they'd be gamebreakers if they weren't
Adam: Sadly, despite being it the 90's, we never get any sort of grimdark spinoff comic about a renegade Chee kicking ass and stuff.
Ifi: GODDAMN NOW I HAVE TO WRITE ANOTHER FANFIC
Adam: I am not upset about this.
Ifi: Erek, however, is unable to deal with the trauma of murdering somebody
Ifi: Marco tells him to walk it off.
Adam: But Chee apparently have no way of erasing memory space.
Ifi: No recycle bin
Adam: This is going to be a problem in a million years when he runs out of hard drive space.
Ifi: Imagine him having to push around a shopping cart filled with external hard drives
Ifi: And buckets and buckets of flash drives
Adam: It reminds me of that crazy lady collecting her clothing items in a cart.
Ifi: Nonsense that was completely different
Ifi: Completely different

Adam: Okay, now comes the stupidest part of the book.
Adam: They've gotten out of this thing alive (somehow)
Ifi: Erek ex Machina
Ifi: (see what I did there?)
Adam: and Jake and Marco keep the Pemalite crystal!
Adam: just...why?
Adam: give it to Erek!
Adam: It's his!
Adam: It doesn't belong to you!
Ifi: Is it ever mentioned again?
Adam: No it is not.
Adam: And do you know why?
Ifi: Why?
Adam: BECAUSE JAKE'S DOG TELLS THEM TO THROW IT IN THE OCEAN!
Adam: I swear I am not making that up.
Ifi: lol.
Adam: I can understand not wanting to abuse it, but seriously?
Adam: Give it back to the Chee!
Ifi: I would abuse it
Ifi: I'd abuse the hell out of it I'd have my own Chee army to kill everyone who ever slighted me
Ifi: and make me drinks
Adam: You frighten me.
Adam: But I can honestly say that the one thing that you shouldn't do with it is throw it in the ocean.
Adam: Because a dog tells you to.
Ifi: No offense but dogs are not very bright
Ifi: My dog would run after a ball if you just pretended to throw it
Adam: Hence why they are not the best source of advice when it comes to advanced alien technology.
Ifi: Whatever it is like symbolic
Ifi: it is a symbol
Ifi: it is symbolism
Adam: It is symbolic of the characters being idiots.

Ifi: Okay is that it?
Adam: Pretty much.
Adam: You have anything else that you'd like to add?
Ifi: Hooray for robots and dogs and robot dogs and crystals and oceans and ocean crystals and war!
Adam: You make it sound like this is some sort new age bible when you stick them all together.
Ifi: Isn't it?
Adam: I'll go ask Jesus Whale and get back to you.
Ifi: So how do you think the Chee have sex?
Adam: *snorts milk out of nose*
Adam: They are robots.
Ifi: MY QUESTION STANDS
Adam: So does my answer.

22 comments:

  1. So basically Erek has the entire Matrix inside his head?

    ...Awesome.

    The whole creation of domestic dogs thing always confused me. They stuck their souls into them? With... with genitals, or...?

    Also, is that actually a wolf spider on the cover? It looks more like a tarantula. Not that I'm a biology expert or anything.

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  2. More like a tiny version of it for one yeerk. I can see the point of comparison though.

    Wait, you're saying they stuck the Pemalites' genitals on to dogs? I'm not sure what you mean. That does not invite the most happy of imagery though.

    Yeah, it probably is a tarantula. They're a lot more mellow then wolf spiders, and easier to photograph.

    This is what a wolf spider actually looks like, for clarification: http://i471.photobucket.com/albums/rr77/vaguelyorigional/wolfspider4.jpg

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  3. Surely Erek's thing with his yeerk has 'peaceful resolution to the war' all over it? There's no way the Chee can't make the yeerks nonsentient robot bodies with that kind of technology. Funnel the tech through some real humans for safety and there's no need to enslave.

    Of course, the yeerks already have computers that they can interact with directly and should be able to use to control robot bodies of their own, but we know they're not all that good with technology. The Chee, presumably, are.

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  4. Also, those legs. There is no way the Chee can balance on those legs. I'm often creeped out by how we walk on our heel bones as if we're somehow too good for normal mammalian leg structure, but it's pretty difficult to be bipedal otherwise (unless you had a tail that reached the ground, I guess).

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  5. That's actually an incredibly sensible idea, but no, noone in the series every even has that thought process at all.

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  6. My imaginary band name comes from (or, was at least suggested by) this book: Z-Space Mass of Marco.

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  7. The technology is amazing and all that, but with the weirdly jointed legs and ability to right itself, I want somebody to use BigDog as a basis for a creature in a horror movie.

    Part of me wants to say "Discworld did it" with regards to the "extra mass goes... someplace else and it ain't pretty" approach to transforming into something little, but I think the particular books were written at around the same time.

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  8. Everyone in this series is always obsessed about how someone needs to 'win' the war. Even when they pay lip service to peace and trying to prevent the horrors of war, everything they do is about desperately trying to conquer the other side. Cassie touches on peace in misguided, not-well-thought-out and heavily dangerous ways, but nobody ever sits down and says, "The best way for our group/civilisation/species to get what they want is if we weren't being resisted. Is there a way we can make lack of conflict the most sensible course of action for everyone?" Hell, the yeerks' initial invasion plan when they were still being 2D villains is the closest anybody comes to that! Make Edriss ruler of the universe!

    As for the animorphs, even when they go on to 'help' the yeerks, they have to conquer them first. Post-surrender help is just cleanup for them even though the yeerks' innate abilities have huge potential in revolutionising many aspects of human society. That sort of thinking is excusable from scared teens trying to protect their species (although that became implausible too after the iskoort, but that's ages away). It is not excusable from a society of high-tech intelligent pacifist robots who are all about peace and love, or all the engineers, biologists, strategists and social scientists the yeerks would have conquered.

    A yeerk resistance movement should've been well away before the animorphs even came into the picture, when some engineer said to their yeerk, "Know what would be better than you and your siblings having to put up with people like me screaming in your head all the time? Your own bodies. Let's get this going." I find it hard to believe that *none* of them would manage to convince their yeerks.

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  9. Yeesh, did that one contest winner get lucky or what? 90's!me would have LOVED to be a costar through effectively the entire series. Hell, it'd still rule.

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  10. The Chee were one of my favourite groups/species in the series.

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  11. Re bipedalism being reliant on plantigrade locomotion, make that being bipedal *and* upright. Birds (and other theropods and various other archosaur clades) do fine as bipedal digitigrades without tail dragging. So do saltatorial rodents (though they hop instead of walk).

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  12. A good point indeed. Then again, Ax is biased, and from a planet that seems to be primarily occupied by hexapods, so I would imagine that creatures that can walk with less support than that probably sets off some equivalent of the uncanny valley for him.

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  13. The cover: What's wrong with is it is that the spider's front is morphing out of Marco's lower half, and his upper half is just sort of melting into it with the head. Because they had the model crouched the wrong way.

    Scentless Erek: This is the one thing about Chee that bugged me right away. Everything else got to me when I grew up and became less stupid. Chee should not be scent vacuums. They should smell like metal, electronics, everything they've walked through, and the bajillion dogs they hang out with on a daily basis.

    Android: What's even better is that I distinctly remember it being explained at some point that he's an android because he's sentient. Robots are not sentient. I suspect Applegate wrote "droid," and the legal department told her no. Or, more likely, didn't tell her anything and just sent a note to the editing staff.

    Poking out: It always made sense to me that the Chee has some sort of forcefield or "hard light" field that reinforces their hologram cover. Otherwise they'd give it away every time someone hugged them or they shook hands. But it's never, ever mentioned. His "hologram" never works much like a hologram anyway, but given the fact that he can and does expand it to include groups of people, I think it covers his whole body and replicates a picture of him and the space around him. And now I feel like a giant dork for talking about this seriously.

    "And it raises the question of where the extra mass comes from when they morph something large" : THIS. SO MUCH. I was completely okay with the whole mass issue until she attempted to explain it, which caused it to make less sense. Even with the idea that they just replicate cells really quickly when morphing, it still has to go somewhere when you demorph, which means there is stuff out there all the time, connected to you, and Visser Three must have Z-space blob the size of a small moon.

    "The "foot" had no toes. In fact, it wasn't shaped like a human foot. More like a paw." : Paws have toes. That picture has toes. Goddammit, this didn't bother me before and now it does. (T-T)

    "Marco goes home and eats chicken and mashed potatoes." : Scholastic books is where I learned how to write school reports. *Hm, I've only got four relavent facts about this. I'll just write a few paragraphs of useless nonsense between each important thing.*

    What Marco's dad says about Marco's mom : Aren't those clear signs of cheating? I mean honestly, if my wife/husband/whatever suddenly became totally complacent except when they were all weepy and wouldn't tell me why, I'd totally want to know who they were sleeping with.

    "This sort of thing actually happens a lot" : Animorphs drinking game. Because we are adults now.

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    Replies
    1. I can't remember if it was explained in a later book or a Q&A Applegate or Grant did once, but apparently morphing bigger objects basically works by taking energy from Z-Space and converting it to mass.

      So, magic.

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  14. I thought the Chee having forecfields was mentioned later on. Also, with forcefields, being scentless makes sense, assuming that no dirt sticks.

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  15. ThoughtlessCogitationMarch 26, 2012 at 12:16 PM

    On the mantis shrimp thing: We refer to dogs and a lot of other mammals as 'colourblind' and assume they only see in shades of grey because they can only see two primary colours instead of our mighty three.
    What do you think mantis shrimps would call human vision (assuming they had brains capable of sapient thought and thought processes nigh-identical to humans), with their... what, ten? What do they even _see_ with all that?

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  16. "Adam: Wait, I actually now want to read a series about ghost science.
    Ifi: What would that even be?"

    Danny Phantom?

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  17. Luna the andiliteApril 16, 2013 at 7:24 PM

    ok really
    where DOES Rachel get all the extra muscle when she goes elephant?
    does she steal some from someone else?
    ._.
    ...
    is it fake? just air?
    or is morphing away of loosing weight? then the extra weight is slapped back on you when your morph?

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  18. Sigh... the STACKS (Scholastic website: http://www.scholastic.com/animorphs/characters/Marco.htm ) profile of Marco is disappointing. His model looks too old, too tall, and- and- THEY LIST HIS ATTITUDE AS "WHATEVER"! DID THEY REALLY CHANGE THAT MUCH IN THE RE-RELEASE OR DID THEY NOT READ ANYTHING BEFORE WRITING THAT?!

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  19. I think -ALL- the mass of the morphs bigger than self go In z space.

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  20. Jake and Marco kept the Pemalite crystal because Erek refused to have anything more to do with it. Though if it was so powerful, shouldn't it have been able to erase Erek's memories of the incident?

    And this blog is hilarious, by the way. Can't wait to read the rest. Good work!

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