Saturday, October 13, 2012

Book 51: The Absolute

The Summary
Visser One has organized a mission to infest a large percentage of the US military troops, so the the Animorphs decide, screw it, enough of this secret war.

And so, Marco, Ax and Tobias are off to to the government.

Up in Sacramento, they meet the unnamed governor, who they narrowly manage to rescue from her Controller-husband and other infested staff-members. What immediately follows is running. A lot of running.

After managing to return to the Governor's mansion in one peace, they convince her to contact any military officers who she can confirm as non-Controllers, as well as any higher ranking political authority, the President included. She agrees to do so.

When they return home, they watch the Governor on national television, as she tells warns the public of the Yeerk invasion.

The Review 
Adam: Y'know, there was a survey done 
Adam: That found "duck" to be the silliest sounding word in the english language.
 Ifi: That fits, because it is almost one of the silliest-looking animals 
Adam: And as a consequence, this is a silly looking morph. 
Adam: And yet, from a purely compositional perspective, I honestly find this cover kinda nice looking.
 Ifi: It is! It would have been a great cover for an earlier book
 Ifi: However, seeing as THIS book is just one ninety-page chase scene, it does not 
Adam: Well, the only other option for a cover would be Marco morphing into a middle aged woman in a grey pantsuit. 
Adam: I think it can be pretty well established that they've used up all the big impressive morphs at this point.
 Ifi: Sad 
Adam: Quite. 
Adam: So, the other thing worth pointing out is the little blurb right above the title. 
Ifi: Yes.
 Ifi: Also, the blurb on the back cover has changed. 
Adam: Could you quote that?

Here's the deal these days: They know exactly who we are. They know exactly where we live. We've got a few secrets left, and we're gonna use them. But just know that the end is coming. And we don't know how much longer we can do this. How much longer we can fight.

What about you? Where will you be when it ends? Think about it. Think hard. Because the countdown has already begun...

Ifi: I have an idea let's just go back to the days when they Yeerks would do something stupid, the Animorphs would foil them in an equally stupid way, and then everyone would go home. 
Adam: And then everyone learned a valuable lesson about sharing or some nonsense, and they would highfive and the camera would freeze right at the end. 
Adam: Let's be honest, it was never exactly the brightest and cheeriest series 
Adam: It was pretty inevitable that it would end up in this direction. 
Ifi: To be frank, they're lucky they even made it this far. 
Adam: Pretty much

Ifi: Okay so this book
 Ifi: Like I said 
Ifi: Is one big long chase scene
 Adam: This is basically the breather episode for the entire rest of the series. 
Ifi: Yeah, it was startlingly upbeat
 Ifi: And it was fun. 
Adam: Which they kinda lampshade at the beginning. 
Adam: Out of all the characters, Marco is really the only one who has had anything positive in his direction.
 Ifi: He gets to drive a tank! 
Ifi: Marco really does have all the luck. 
Adam: This book seriously has the weirdest cold open ever.
 Ifi: I'm not even going to pretend like I know what was going on there. 
Adam: Marco and Tobias get chased around by some of the new controllermorphs, and then they steal a tank. 
Adam: They crash it into Chapman's house, I think just to fill out the "Hendrick Chapman's life sucks" quota. 
Ifi: Yeah, they had no reason for doing it. 
Ifi: They just did.
 Adam: They have no reason for doing anything that happens in the opening chapters of this book. 
Adam: It is all very surreal.
 Ifi: At least it wasn't something dumb and pointless, like in the early books? 
Ifi: And I honestly giggled through the whole thing 
Adam: And hey, Marco has a tank now. 
Adam: I can just picture him bringing it back to the valley and asking his mom if he can keep it. 
Ifi: And Eva would say, "No. I'M keeping it." 
Ifi: "Be right back I have some errands...yes..."
 Ifi: But seriously, I have no idea why they didn't take it with them, it would be an awesome thing to have.

Adam: So, with that silliness out of the way. 
Adam: We now have the actual plot.

"We'll have to be," said Jake. "Because only one person has enough authority to stop the movement of National Guard troops. The governor. Group Two has to travel to the capitol. Get to the governor somehow. Convince him to work with us."

----Book 51, The Absolute

Ifi: This is the whole plot. 
Adam: It is such an enormous shame that this book was written before Schwarzenegger's term in office. 
Adam: So many potential jokes.
 Ifi: Is Schwarzenegger a public domain character? 
Ifi: Or would we have a knock-off? 
Ifi: Harold Knoffkinator of Lichtenstein 
Ifi: or something equally transparent 
Adam: Real people can't be copyrighted. 
Adam: Unless you're Harlan Ellison©. 
Ifi: I wanna be copywrit 
Adam: Are you sure that's the copyright thing to do?
 Ifi: Sigh.

Adam: So, because we need a cover, the Marco Tobias Ax team decides to go acquire ducks instead of sneak aboard a plane like they always do.
 Ifi: The whole thing is really a lot more painful than it needs to be
 Adam: It is very reminiscent of that early scene in which they try to catch the Chapmans' cat.

Great. I lifted my hand. Started to shove it off. The drake drifted closer. I froze.

<Marco, do you realize that there is a large amphibian on your head?>

<It's a bullfrog, Ax-man,> said Tobias.

"Gree-deep," said the frog.

The mallard turned. Watched me. Paddled away.

----Book 51, The Absolute

Adam: Marco spends this entire scene with a frog on his head. 
Ifi: You guys are morons. All you needed was a bag of breadcrumbs and they'd be lining up for you. 
Adam: I once went whitewater rafting and got a flock of ducks to follow us for two miles using a bag of goldfish crackers. 
Adam: I was very sad when I couldn't take one home with me.
 Ifi: That is an amazing mental image you've given me
 Adam: It's what I do.

"Daddy, Daddy! Look! It's a unicorn."

I whirled.

A little girl was pulling her dad toward the duck pond. A group of grade-school kids on a field trip jostled along the sidewalk behind them.

"The park's open," I yelled to Ax and Tobias. "Let's get what we came for and get out!"

"A blue unicorn, Daddy. Look!"

"There's no such thing as a unicorn, sweetheart. That's a, well, it's a . . . an antelope. Yes,
an antelope. That's it. Probably from . . . Africa. An African antelope."

----Book 51, The Absolute

Ifi: Why are we fighting to save the human race again? I honestly don't remember. 
Adam: What, you've never seen pictures of the majestic African antelope? 
Adam: It's magnificent, it's bright blue, and looks exactly like a unicorn.
 Ifi: No offense, humanity, but you are not worth dying for. 
Adam: Next, Marco gets mauled by a small waterfowl. 
Adam: To be fair, ducks and geese are absolutely terrifying up close.

Ifi: Yeah I was chased by geese when I was a kid. 
Adam: They have teeth on their tongues. 
Adam: That is not a thing that should exist. 
Ifi: And they understand about strength in numbers

A Dracon beam vaporized the water beside me. Human-Controllers leaped into the pond and splashed toward the cattails.

Others, still on the bank, began changing. Shrinking, shifting . . . morphing. A leopard
emerged from a security guard, a golden eagle from an ice-cream vendor.

<Man, I liked it better when only we could do that,> I said.

----Book 51, The Absolute

Ifi: Great job Cassie 
Ifi: Also: why are you going after ducks in a public park when you are the most wanted people in the Empire? 
Ifi: Surely there are wild ducks you can harass
 Ifi: without the risk of being shot at 
Adam: At the very least, go to the park incognito, steal a duck and bring it back to camp, then have everyone acquire it there. 
Ifi: Whatever, the main plot is just running around with the governor, so I guess we have to stretch it out somehow.

<I don't believe I'm saying this.> Tobias. <But I can almost sympathize with Visser One. Now we know what he's been going through all this time. Dodging every animal he sees, thinking the boogeyman in morph is lurking around every corner.>

----Book 51, The Absolute

Ifi: A legitimate point. And we all know Esplin is in a delicate mental state at any given time so. 
Adam: To be fair, his initial breaking point had occurred before the main series even started.

<Here's a questions I said. <Why haven't we morphed ducks before? All those times we had to fly long distances, like trying to keep up with the train yesterday, Tobias. Or that time Jake got his guts squashed on the ceiling when we were stowing away in fly morph on an airplane. Why didn't anybody say, "Long distance? Let's go duck"?>

----Book 51, The Absolute

Ifi: Because ducks are lame and raptors are awesome?

Adam: Honestly, if they had gotten themselves an arctic tern morph, this would have saved Jake a whole encounter of being nearly squished to death.

<This is it,> I said. <I recognize the capitol from our third-grade field trip.>

<A domed building?> Ax's thought-speak was filled with awe. He has a thing for domed roofs. <Excellent living quarters! Well-suited for an important government leader.>

<That's not where he lives, Ax-man. It's just where he works.>

<And it's Saturdays said Tobias. <So chances are, he's not there.>

<So chances are, he'll be at home,> I said.

<Which is . . . ?>

----Book 51, The Absolute

Ifi: Wow. 
Ifi: Fail. 
 Adam: They couldn't have waited a day?
 Adam: Could Marco really not stand another say of free cable in Ax's scoop?
 Ifi: So some random bikers give them directions to the governor's mansion.
 Ifi: Idk it's random. 
Adam: Was this supposed to be some sort of cameo? 
Adam: It kinda feels that way.
 Ifi: For the record, this is where they go:

Ifi: It's actually described pretty accurately in the book. 
Adam: Pretty~
 Adam: Although apparently the last governor of California to live there was Ronald Reagan. 
Ifi: I dunno, I didn't write it! I just know that that house looks a lot like what the book described. 
Adam: Then again, the governor at the time was either Pete Wilson or Gray Davis, neither of which are featured in this book, so obviously some liberties were taken.

<We need to find your governor quickly,> said Ax, <and convince him to speak to us alone. What does he look like?>

"I'm not really sure," I said. "Tobias?"


Ax studied Tobias, then me. He shook his head, puzzled. <Perhaps it will not matter. Once
we are inside, we will most likely hear someone call him by name.> He narrowed his stalk eyes. <You do know his name?>

Tobias and I looked at each other.

Okay, so I should've done an Internet search before we left the valley. Or picked up a state map at the truck stop. The governor's picture would've been right there on the inside flap, with his name printed underneath.

----Book 51, The Absolute

Ifi: You guys
 Ifi: You're hurting me

Ifi: ... 
Ifi: why

Adam: Eventually, they just decide to sneak in as roaches and hope they overhear anything useful.
 Adam: They come to the initial conclusion that the governor is some guy with fashionable shoes.

<Governor!> My sideways cockroach mouth melted into lips, teeth, and tongue. "Governor!" I was human now. I stepped toward Wing Tip, my hands in the air. "Tell them not to shoot. Please."
"No. Don't shoot. Just watch him. Closely."

It was an order. But it didn't come from Wing Tip. It came from High Heel.

I turned.

"I am the governor," she said. Her face was white, her body tense. But her eyes remained steady. "And who are you?"

----Book 51, The Absolute

Ifi: Dude's a lady!
 Adam: Oh Marco, you and your casual sexism.
 Ifi: Governor Nameless turns out to be pretty badass, though. 
Adam: We're never given her name, but she reminds me of Amanda Waller, so I'm going to call her that. 
Adam: Y'know, aside from the whole "not evil" thing.

She turned to Wing Tip. "Go back in to the ballroom. Make my apologies. Tell everyone I'm not feeling well. Assure them it's nothing serious. A cold or something." She glanced at me. Narrowed her eyes. "And Frank? Don't say anything else."

Wing Tip nodded and slipped out the door.

I watched him leave. He seemed so calm under the circumstances.

Yeah. Too calm. Any normal person would have been amazed, fascinated, creeped out. Wing Tip hadn't even been shocked by a full-fledged Andalite. I glanced at Collins and the governor. They were still staring at Ax's stalk eyes, deadly tail and mouth less face.

----Book 51, The Absolute
Adam: You just described the whole book.
 Ifi: Yeah. 
Ifi: I really did.

Adam: So, Waller's husband is a controller, so they beat him up and run out the back of the mansion. 
Adam: Then they are on a boat. 
Adam: Marco steps in some food.

I wrapped one gorilla arm around her.

Wing Tip reached for her. "Honey! Take my hand. I'll save you."

The governor grabbed a chair and swung it over her head. I thought she was aiming at me. I ducked.


Wing Tip crumpled to the floor.

"Save me, huh?" she said with a frown.

----Book 51, The Absolute

Ifi: Good job Mandy 
Adam: They make it pretty obvious that this is basically Rachel in another 45 years, had this series not happened.

He bolted toward a tangle of waiters pushing through a small door at the front of the ballroom. I knuckle-walked after him. Knocked over a huge coffee pot. Hurdled a dessert cart. Ax followed. Across the dance floor. Around the orchestra pit.

A Controller leaped from behind a bass drum.

I grabbed a tuba. Shoved it over his head.

----Book 51, The Absolute

Ifi: O..kay? 
Adam: It is that sort of book
 Ifi: It really is. 
Adam: The boat is blown up, and…they go right back to the mansion?

I sat across from her, studying a roster of National Guard officers. I slid it across the desk.

"Call every officer on this list," I said. "Some of them will be Controllers. Some won't. But if you can get enough non-Controllers to listen to you, Visser One's operation will collapse."

<For now, anyway,> said Tobias.

The governor nodded, picked up the phone, and punched in the number of the first name on the roster. General Sherman, the commander of the Army National Guard.

----Book 51, The Absolute
Ifi: You guys probably should have done this about
 Ifi: two years ago 
Adam: Well, they were planning on stealing a bug fighter and landing it next to the White House, but I guess they forgot or something. 
Ifi: Too bad, that was a good plan.
 Ifi: So Governor Mandy calls up all these badasses at it's pretty badass. 
Ifi: BUT
 Ifi: O NOES 
Adam: Well, no, they consider that, but Waller has had enough of those shenanigans. 
Adam: They are just going to sit there and wait for the confirmed non-controller police to arrive. 
Ifi: Marco steals the governor's DNA without permission
 Ifi: And passes himself off as her to the Controllers
 Adam: Only to escape anyway. 
Adam: So I'm not sure what the point of that was.
 Ifi: Yeah it was a little confusing. 
Ifi: I liked the part where we all ran around better. 
Adam: Usually when they do this sort of thing, they end up faking the person's death. 
Adam: But that wouldn't have worked in this case, since they need her to contact people. 
Adam: So I guess it was just to stall?
 Ifi: Can we go back to the tank
 Ifi: I feel like the entire evening would have gone more smoothly if they'd kept the tank. 
Adam: Maybe the tank comes to life and goes on its own adventures.
 Ifi: Go to bed. 
Adam: Soon.

I thumped my feet on the floor. "Uh-ur-ulph."

Tobias turned. <Did you say something, Marco?>

"Uh-ur-ulph. UH. UR. ULPH!"

Ax looked at me. Tilted his head. <l believe Marco is trying to tell us that while he is extremely happy to see us, he enjoys being trussed up, and could we please not remove the filthy satchel from his mouth, as he finds it quite tasty. >

----Book 51, The Absolute

Ifi: Oh Ax 
Adam: Whoa 
Adam: I'm impressed. 
Adam: Marco learns to drive, and Ax finally understands earth humor. 
Adam: Today is truly a day of growth.
 Ifi: Anyway the Animorphs manage to escape and nobody important dies

The picture went fuzzy for a second, then focused on Patricia, the blond reporter, talking to a plump gray-haired woman.

<It is our governor,> said Ax.

Rachel stared at the TV. "She's a woman."

"Well, yeah, she's a woman, Rachel." I glanced at Tobias. "You didn't know that?"

----Book 51, The Absolute

Adam: So, the invasion is officially public knowledge.
Adam: Even though by all accounts it should have been five books ago.

"U.S. troops," I said. "It's what we've wanted from the beginning. Why am I not ecstatic?"

<How can you get ecstatic about all-out global war?> Tobias said.

The governor shuffled her notes. Looked into the camera again. "This is not the time for panic," she said. "It is the time for each of us to reach into our souls and pull out the courage we may not even know we possess. Our enemy is strong. But we are stronger, because we are fighting for our lives and our freedom. For our very existence."

----Book 51, The Absolute

Adam: This book was surprisingly…fun? 
Adam: Are these books still allowed to be fun?
 Ifi: I don't know, but it was 
Ifi: I think we needed one last book of 
 : I wish we got something like this after the finale, also. 
Adam: Though that would be rather out of place, thematically. 
Ifi: God now I'm depressed again
 Ifi: Adam we should have never done this
 Ifi: This review series
 Ifi: This was your stupid idea 
Adam: Keep your chin up. 
Adam: We're almost there. 
Adam: And when we're done, maybe we can review something that ends better.
 Adam: I've always had a fondness for the Aliens Ate My Homework series. 
Ifi: I never read those 
Adam: I'll try and get you a copy, they were good.

Ifi: Sooo
 Ifi: I can't think of anything else to say about this one 
Ifi: It was pretty straightforward 
Ifi: And yeah the author clearly had to work to make it stretch to the minimum word count
 Ifi: But still
 Ifi: It's good to have one real last happy memory 
Adam: Well, next week things go downhill again! 
Adam: Stay tuned!


  1. Whoa, you really screwed up the formatting on this one. Is there any way to go back and edit it?

  2. Sorry about the initial formatting issues. Open Office and Blogger are apparently archenemies.

    1. Does anyone else wish that they had seen this?

  3. I always liked this book, it was fun. it's kind of the eye of the storm, after everything goes to hel in a handbasket (ahem, cassie) and right before everything just plain goes to hell.
    Do aliens ate my homework!!! I LOVED that series so much as a kid. I still wouldn't mind reading the last book, which i never finished.

    1. I remember liking that series too, although I don't remember much of it.

  4. Wow, you guys have finally done it! Congratulations on reviewing the entire Animorphs series, from the beginning, all the way through every book, to this last book in the series, that ends on such a stirring upbeat note. I know some people think it's a bit weird for the author to just...IDK...stop the series cold and send a message to David Chase that he could get away with this sort of thing in the future, but if you are just going to end a +50-book series with things hanging, this is a perfectly fine way to do it!

    The end. I'm so glad it all ended happily for everyone. Like it did. Here. In this book. With a name that rings of finality like "The Absolute". A name like that is how you end a series. Which is why it is so good they did it this way.

    Lalalalala! I can't heeeaaar you!

  5. Oh, also, Marco's rant about morphing ducks was something my brother and I had been wondering for like 20+ months by that point. I once watched a duck flying about 4 feet off the ground down a busy road, keeping just ahead of a moving car, apparently, from the outraged quacking, extremely annoyed that this car was following him, but possessed of the same mental deficiency as Charlize Theron in Prometheus that renders you unable to travel to the side and avoid a narrow zone of danger. But he stayed ahead of the damn car, until the road curved and his straight flight path took him away from it.

    The avoidance of waterfowl (wings that can fly like that are pretty powerful, and make good weapons too) and the waste of the cape buffalo were my biggest pet peeves as far as morphs went.

    1. Guys.

      Guys, guys.


      They're adapted to outpace and outmaneuver their main predator: the fastest flier in the world.

      And from the looks of it, they're only acquired by the Beta team in one of the last five books. Wee.

      Seriously, the whole avian world gets shafted in this series. Nobody notices House Sparrows and they can get in anywhere. Ravens are like the dolphins of the sky. Turkey Vultures are all over the Santa Monica mountains. And who would ever be able to harm a Chickadee?

    2. Yes! Turkey Vulture was another favorite they neglected (best sense of smell of any bird), but it would probably gross them out (vomit as a weapon).

    3. Well, they did use seagulls at least.

  6. One of the interesting things here is that around this point, Tobias swaps battle morphs, using his Jara Hamee morph instead of his natural hawk body. I guess if you watned to read into it, it could be an allegory for how Tobias has hardened and turned more brutal over the course of the war, but more likely the ghostwriters just thought "hey, wouldn't it be cool if Tobias killed stuff rather than just pecking their eyes?"

    On another note: why did the human-controllers decide to acquire Earth battle morphs? You'd think that they'd just acquire some Hork-Bajir or whatever nightmare alien monster Visser Three brought home on his safari this weekend.

    Anyways, this book was fun and a little silly, but the writing was pretty good and nobody was seriously OOC.

    Also, Canadian geese are evil, foul monsters that leave a trail of slime-poop everywhere and attack toddlers.

  7. huh that review was fast i thought you'd touch more on how one of the controllers chasing them says "fuck this i'm going to be a nothlit" wonder what happens with the host there hell how does morphing with a yeerk in your brain working anyway?

    1. That's the next book.

    2. I think what you're referring to actually takes place next book, during the fight in the subway tunnel.

      As for the Yeerk, since your "main" body is shunted off into Z-space, I'd assume the Yeerk goes with it and controls the brain remotely controlling the morph.

    3. Hrm, when you morph, the Yeerk remains in your brain. Morphing apparently creates a backup of your brain that is stored in Z-space. This is why you don't become an idiot when you morph into a dog. If the Yeerk is in the brain, they remain in the Z-space brain backup..

      Theoretically, you could have a Yeerk ^ Infinity.

      In other words, a yeerk infests a morph-capable host. The host acquires a Yeerk, the host morphs a yeerk who infests another morph-capable host. And so on. Until you have a nothlit inside of a nothlit inside of another nothlit. Like some Russian doll from hell.

    4. One supposes the brain and skull would just sort of... shift around them. After all, the Yeerk is a separate organism, so it shouldn't have its host's morphing capabilities. Their bodies are extremely pliable, so they should easily be able to squidge into whatever shape they need to.

      Of course, that would make things problematic if you morphed into something with a brain too small to contain a Yeerk, like a fly or cockroach... or, for that matter, something that doesn't have a centralised brain, like that one alien race from the Hork-Bajir Chronicles (someone help me out here - it's either the Ongachics or the Hawjabrans; I can't remember which...). I suppose a Yeerk who carelessly ordered his host to morph something like that without thinking about it would be painfully squished into a putrescent goo...

    5. I think it was covered way back in that book where Jake became a controller, or maybe in the Chronicles, or somewhere, or maybe I just made it up, the the Yeerk body goes to Z-Space with the host body's mass, and they remain some kind of two-minded thing while morphed.

      Morphing physics don't make no sense.

    6. Again, yeah, the Yeerk nothlit scene is next week.

      Anyways, my personal headcanon is that the human brain is transported to Z-Space during the morphing process, where it pilots the body remotely. The Yeerk would then be brought along with the brain, and would maintain its control over the host. I wasn't the one who came up with this theory, but it always made sense to me.

    7. That means that if you die while being in morph, your brain would still be alive and preserved in Z-Space by morphing tech. It just can't return to normal space because the morph died and can't send the "return to Normal Space and rebuild original body" command.

      This is either a good thing, because its possible that these morphers could one day be recovered - or a terrible thing, because the Auxiliary Animorphs are now stuck forever without a body in a void. In other words, their worst fears imaginable.

    8. Unknown, your comment just blew my mind-I'd never considered that scenario before. Imagine being a yeerk with a dozen screaming ghosts in your head. And what's even worse is that when that yeerk becomes a nothlit you're one of the controllers you're trapped with the disembodied minds of those other controllers forever. Weird.

    9. Ooh, finally a chance to explain part of my morphing theory. Been waiting for a chance for months. So, on the original theory, where does the Yeerk go. When you morph, the morphing technology obviously does something with the symbiotic mites and such. What I think is that the morphing tech gives them the ability to morph, only more limited. The mites are linked to the morph-capable host’s consciousness, and the acquiring process works out any necessary symbiotes that the morph contains, and when the actual morphing happens, it transforms the old mites into the morph’s , mutating, multiplying, etc. Same basic principal for the Yeerk morphing. It’s shrunk down, extended, enlarged, whatever, to get the Yeerk wound into the new brain. So for example, when Visser Three morphs a humongous eight-headed monster, it multiplies the Yeerk, grows each Yeerk so each brain is fully covered, and keeps them linked, so they are all sharing one consciousness. All this happens as the host brain grows, shrinks, etc., not allowing one moment the brain is in control of itself.
      The Z-space theory for death is good. But, even then, it couldn’t even potentially revive the dead morphers, or any Andalites that die (later, this thing is way too long) because as any energy that isn’t linked to something physical is spread out across Z-space. This would cause all these trapped consciousnesses not held by any barriers, and the fact they have no mass to influence, they would be spread throughout the void, and mixed together, ultimately creating some sort of collective consciousness that pretty much is like Father, nothing but the blended minds that have no individuality. Awful, but not worse than the alternative of life alone in the void. I suppose the Ellimist could just remove them and cause them to fade away like they should. *shrugs* I guess he could, but he might not. Gosh this was long.

    10. I figured Yeerks would be like those implants from the shark book, and not change size along with their host body...

    11. But those weren't biological, and were not incorporates into the morph. The Andalite-translater chips did, but they were designed to do that. The shark's chips were not.

  8. ALIENS ATE MY HOMEWORK YAY! I've only read the first two books, but it seems like an excellent series anyways!

  9. The tank scene is still my favorite scene in the entire series.

    I'd love to see you guys do the Aliens Ate My Homework series; I read most, if not all of those as a kid, but don't remember much other than the miniaturized kung-fu alien throwing a dude 10 times his size.

  10. Not to sound critical, I love these reviews, but you skimmed over a lot of the book. "/

    1. This review is shorter than usual. I noticed that when I pasted it into word. I think it's because even though this wasn't a bad book, it was pretty low on actual content so there simply wasn't as much to say about it. Also Ifi is dealing with some stuff irl. But the plot is basically the group running from one spot to another spot and it just didn't lend itself to reviewing very well.

  11. WHY DIDN'T MARCO USE THOUGHT-SPEAK?!?! He was tied up and there was a satchel in house mouth. Why didn't he just talk with thought-speak? Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr............

  12. I just finished re-reading this one, and... WHEN did Tobias learn to drive?? Stunt-flying somehow translates to stunt-driving?

    ...I'll take it. /shrug

  13. What is wrong with you guys? Marco had to morph the governor so the people left the mansion. Do you people even read the book anymore? The quality of these reviews just took a nosedive.